Rant: Shit Sandwich

Today we are introducing our first guest rant. Up to this point, Cy has been putting some topics on the table. We wanted to get some different perspectives, so enjoy these words from our friend Danimal from Svrfandestroy.com:

In the interest of full disclosure, here is the Readers Digest version of a bio about myself. I work for a giant surf/skate company. I started surfing in 7th grade. The Seedling was my bible in high school. I started Svrfandestroy 3 years ago. I don’t surf as much as I would like to.

Recently, I was at a friend’s house for a birthday party. You’ve been there before, shooting the shit, slamming beers, and hanging in the backyard. I got to talking with my brother’s friend who works construction. He’s telling me about an old salty dog he met on the job. A real sour bastard. Reminds you of the crusty locals you see in the lineup who swear the sandbars will never be the same. They haven’t seen a legitimate swell since the summer of yesteryear. They have seen some shit. They are tired. Hungry. Ready for something. Anything.

The old guy is telling him about life and he sums it up like this:

“Life is a shit sandwich. Eat it, or starve.”

Wow. The guy nailed it.

This got me thinking… so is surfing!

“It’s never been this crowded.”

“Look at all these SUPs.”

“Last summer was warmer.”

“Last winter was better.”

If that is not bad enough, let us not forget the steaming pile of shit in the corner that are yuppies, ass masters, kooks, ho-dads, shoobies, barneys, parking meters, the 909, leashes, giant “surf” companies, sell outs, posers, popouts, hipsters, tight jeans, trends, bougie surf shops, soft tops, surfboards for sale at Costco, and the list goes on.

It is really easy to find so many faults with something you truly love. We hold surfing near and dear to us, so rightfully we protect it by calling bullshit on anything and everything.

So I am asking you to do your part. Vibe someone. Burn a barney who thinks he has a right to paddle into the wave of the day. Get a parking ticket. Yell at a SUP dork that has no business in the lineup. Moon some tourists. Restore some order in this kook infested “sport” we now live with. See you in the water.


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